Which World Today?

I wake pregnant with possibility.
Which world should I embrace?
One with a wild pond in it,
or the one with the gaudy blossoms of old ladies' gardens?
All-day suckers and whirl-a-gig rides?
I try building a wall of books
to hide behind. The world leans in,
multiple as a kaleidescope,
laughs at me scratching out my plans
with my rusty pen.